We have nap time issues here. Sometimes Joel will go to sleep on his own wonderfully. I know he can do it. Sometimes I lay him down, a few minutes later he is sleeping peacefully and I pat myself on the back for being such an awesome mom.
Then there are days like yesterday and this moment, where I put him down, he screams, I go back in, pat his belly, he screams, I eventually give in and pick him up, and he eventually goes to sleep. Then I feel like a horrible mom. I feel guilty because I let him cry. And I feel even more guilty because I picked him up, so after all that he didn't even fall asleep on his own.
I have been horrible about being consistent with this, because I hate hearing him cry, but he's too old to be held all through his naps. He's also old enough now that sometimes when I pick him up, he just wakes up more and wants to play and then we've spent all that time trying to get him to sleep and he's more awake.
So, I'm feeling discouraged and unsure of what to do. I've read books, I've tried giving him a lovey, I've tried blackout curtains, sound machine, swaddling, unswaddling, music, silence, mobile, feeding right before, and sometimes these things work great, and the next time not at all. I'd love some advice from you all.
It's not fair to Joel to keep changing our routine and I'm a tearful, grumpy mess by the end of these days. I'm ok with some crying (his, not mine=), but I usually pick him up when the all out, sounds like I'm torturing him and ruining his life screaming starts.
I'm just going to throw out my questions and if you happen to have some helpful tips, I'd appreciate it! If you don't want to comment on here, feel free to send me a message or email or something.
How do you handle the paci? Sometimes, like today, I think he was starting to fall asleep, but then I peeked in to make sure he had his paci (because he was fussing a little) and then when I left, he was screaming. I know it takes him longer to fall asleep without it, but it's also counterproductive to peek in and get him upset all over again.
Has anyone found a way that doesn't involve screaming or do you swear by the 'cry it out' method? How long did it take to establish a good sleep routine? How do you handle interruptions, such as bible study, church, time with friends, errands and other things that are a necessary part of life? Did your baby love the lovey right away, or did it take some time for them to get attached?
Basically, I need to pick a plan and stick with it, but I'd love to hear how other people have dealt with this issue. Thanks!
We've had nap issues since Kinley was 5 weeks old and now that she is 8mo, she is down to one 1-2hr nap a day. She's never been a great napper but she is a fantastic night sleeper--12hrs each night (7pm-7am) and has done so since she was 3mo old! So I ask, how does Joel sleep at night? Has he been a good napper and now isn't napping well? How many naps are you trying to encourage? Do you feel like it's an overall sleep issue or is he ready to drop a nap based on his age? Kinley just dropped the afternoon nap last month. She took a great morning nap but then in the afternoon she would roll around, play, talk, then start crying and after an hr of this for 2 weeks, I knew things were changing. Then when we were traveling for 2 weeks in the car and she didn't take an afternoon nap, I knew she didn't need it.
ReplyDeleteIf it's an over all sleep issue- Do you have a sleepy time routine? For us and naps it has always been the same. I'll read her cues- rubbing the eyes, yawning, fussy. Then we go up to her room, read a couple stories, sing a couple song, and then I play a lullaby CD. She knows that it's nap time. When she would fuss, and I knew it wasn't hunger or pain, I would let her cry for 5-10min. Then I'd go in and say "It's nap time", put my hand on her back so she knew I was there, and NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. Sometimes this was enough to settle her down. I didn't pick her up b/c it was overstimulating for her. (if I had recently fed her and thought it may be gas, I would pick her up and try to burp but then I'd put her right back down). If she still was crying, I'd leave the room and let her cry for another 10min and go in again and do the same thing. I always set 1hr as the limit. If she wasn't asleep within an hr I called the whole nap off and let her get up. Sometimes it took 45min to settle down. Consistency is the key in whatever routine you decide. We've had a routine since bringing her home from the hospital but I've heard that it can take up to a week to establish.
As far as trying to get errands done, I try to protect that one nap that she does take and schedule everything in the afternoon. Kinley is a kid that needs to be in her crib to sleep. She won't sleep when we are out b/c she doesn't want to miss anything! And sometimes it doesn't work out and she may not get a good nap in one day b/c something came up, but as long as she has consistency MOST of the time, I'm OK with it.
Aurora and I have recently had nap issues ourselves. For the first 11 months or so I let her nap as long as she wanted because if she didn't she was cranky. She always slept well at night only waking due to the occasional nightmare or loud noise. Then all of a sudden she would not want to go to sleep until midnight, so I had to start limiting naptime. She's very flexible and will sleep anywhere. Jess and I wanted her to be like that to fit into our crazy navy life. She gets a good 1.5 to 2 hours a day now. Sometime I have to wake her up because her 2 hours are up, but she is sleeping better at night again. I tried to schedule nap time at first and she just didn't go for it. She naps anywhere from 12 to 3 now depending on the day. I just make sure her meals are consistent. At night when she seems to have too much energy we do bathtime and lay down to watch Winnie the Pooh. She loves the music and it really calms her down. Plus it gives us snuggle time. I tried all different routines including reading, but she wanted to talk about the book to me and it ended up stirring her up so we had to move reading time to during the day instead of before sleeping time. At night when she's tired I put her in her bed and stand at the corner of the crib but facing away from her. When she stops staring at me, I move to the door but where she can still see me if she looks. 5 min or so later and she usually turns over on her belly and that's my cue to leave. We had some tear filled nights on both our ends, but we figured out what worked for us. You will find what works best for you. Just remember you're a good mom and everything will be fine! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI don't have a lot of specific get-your-baby-to-nap advice. But I did want to say, try not to beat yourself up about what your baby "should" be doing. In other words, don't feel bad if you feel like your baby "should" be taking a solid morning and afternoon nap peacefully in their crib. Joel may just not fall into a pattern prescribed by any baby sleep books. (I recently got rid of all my baby sleep books because they frustrated me so when they told me what should be happening and what should be working). And try not to feel guilty about what you should and shouldn't be going either (i.e. letting him fuss, or not letting him fuss) - you are doing a fabulous job!
ReplyDeleteI know for Phoebe, she is not a traditional napper. For a while she didn't really nap at all. She would doze in her bouncy seat for maybe 10 or 15 minutes at a time, but never a solid nap. But at the time, that worked for her; tiny naps would get her through till bed time where she would sleep pretty soundly. There did come a time though when she clearly needed longer naps (her play times were cranky times, she would be grumpy unless I held her and she could suck her thumb). That's when I started to really try for crib naps - and it was a slow process. We started by letting her nap in her swing, but put the swing in her room near the crib. Eventually she would nap in the swing without it swinging, then we moved to the crib. I did let her "cry it out" sort of....15 minutes was about my max. If she wasn't calming down by then I would let her try the swing or the baby carrier for a nap. Like I said - it was a slow process, but she did get the hang of it eventually.
That said, perhaps Joel is in a not-needing-many naps phase. If he doesn't go to sleep and you get him back up and he will play longer; just go with it. Its rough not getting a nap-break, but if he's still up for playing or just hanging out, I wouldn't force the nap. But, if Joel is getting super tired and really needs to nap, but won't do it in his crib perhaps consider alternate napping places for a while. The swing if he likes it. A baby carrier (moby wraps are awesome for napping and super comfy for your back. Bjorns tend to be not the best for napping in, in my experience); or something like that. Ultimately it is great to get them to nap in their crib, but that can be a slow process for some kids. Put the swing in his room if he likes that. If you use a baby carrier - bounce him to sleep in his room within sight of his crib and when he wakes up maybe put him in the crib as he's waking up so that he starts to associate the crib and his room with the times when he falls asleep and wakes up. He'll get the hang of it eventually.
In terms of interruptions to your schedule - that's a tricky one. Once he gets in a napping routine, I think its definitely a good idea to aim for at least 1 solid nap at home in the crib (assuming he's figured out that he likes to nap there). But if he will nap on the go (in the car, in a baby carrier) then I say just go with it - and let him sleep around your schedule. He'll let you know if your plans are working for him (via melt downs, etc. haha. good times). Phoebe often times will skip a nap all together when we are out simply because she loves being part of the fun and watching people and such. It distracts her from her exhaustion.
Yikes, that was more advice than I thought I had. Hopefully some of it may work for you! But if not, try not to get discouraged and remember, its just a phase! Everything with a baby is just a phase...some longer than others, but you will get through it!