"Motherhood is hard work. It is repetitive and often times menial. Accept it. Rejoice in it. This is your toil. Right here. Those are their faces. Enjoy them. The days of your life are supposed to be full of things like this. But joy is not giddy. It is not an emotional rush- it it what happens when you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil. So rejoice in your children. Look them in the eyes and give thanks."
These words really encouraged me, as my days often feel menial at this point in my life. I'm finding life with a toddler to be challenging in a completely different way than life with a baby. The good moments are so so fulfilling, but sometimes the daily grind can feel so exhausting and discouraging. These past couple months are also the first months of motherhood where I've had any kind of normalcy. I'm so thankful that we now have a routine, that Sam is home every night and that we are not constantly packing up and leaving. With less stress though has also come less excitement for this stay at home mom. Days here look more the same and I have less "interesting" things to look forward to.
I've found myself struggling to figure out what contentment looks like at this point, as well as feeling guilty when I don't love being at home every minute of every day. I love what the book says about joy not being giddy. I don't have to feel excited about my life every second of the day to still find joy in it. I also love what she said about looking into your child's eyes. After reading this book, I found myself looking at Joel with a fresh perspective..looking into those big blue eyes and seeing a precious little person with feelings, ideas, and a personality. That seems so obvious, but sometimes those things get lost in the process of cleaning up, planning meals, agonizing about discipline and sleep. I forget to enjoy my child. I forget to revel in the moments where he is babbling very enthusiastically about something that is very important to him. To genuinely laugh as I watch him do silly things. To treasure each moment that I get to watch him play, that I get to learn about him and see who he is becoming.
I think these things are so undervalued in our culture. If we are not accomplishing something measurable and attaining goals that directly benefit us, then we are missing out on joy and fulfillment in this life. I have far too often believed this lie. I loved the reminder of this book that spending my life giving to my family is a joyful calling. I have been given a great privilege and gift to spend my days entering into the world of a 1 year old and providing a safe and secure home for him to grow up in. I'm thankful for reminders to stop feeling sorry for myself and enjoy the life that God has given me.
