Too much excitement

(We didn't have internet access in the hospital this weekend, so I wrote this on Word on Monday and am just now getting around to actually posting! Joel is doing much better now! Still coughing, but hopefully the worst is over!)

We have been to the ER way too many times since June. In June I went for preterm contractions, in September I went for a kidney infection, on this past Thursday we went because I was worried about Joel’s breathing and on Sunday we went for that same reason. I’m so glad we did come because as I said on Facebook, Joel was admitted because of RSV and Bronchiolitis. They said he was definitely working hard to breath and his oxygen saturation was a little lower than they wanted, especially while he was sleeping. This week has been terrifying. We’ve been to Joel’s pediatrician in between our ER visits and each time she has said that he’s going to wheeze, cough and sound horrible for a little while. At the same time though, they tell you to watch closely for signs of respiratory distress. I’ve been constantly analyzing his breathing and it is exhausting. I’ve been afraid to sleep at night for fear that he would get into trouble and I’d miss something. And of course, Sam has been gone, as he has been for all our ER visits since June. On Saturday night, I thought Joel seemed a lot better and that was the first night I went to sleep feeling kind of peaceful. Then Sunday morning I thought he seemed like he was working a little hard to breathe and he was grunting after most breaths, which they say is a sign of distress. I called the nurse at the pediatrician’s office (I’ve probably called 6 times this week) and she said to take him to the ER.

I want to record some of the things I’m thankful for in the midst of all this. There have been many things that have not gone the way I hoped since Joel was born (and many that have!) so I want to focus on the amazing ways that God has worked in the midst of the hard times.

~My dad was working on a story and arrived in the area on Sunday morning. He met me at the ER just a few hours after we got there. It was such a blessing to be able to stay with Joel while he got me food and drinks and just to have the company of family. His presence here was obviously God ordained. What are the chances that he would happen to be working here? This has only happened one other time- probably one of the other hardest weekends of my life. Two days after Sam left for the very first time, my dad also had a story in the area and came for the night. At that point as well, I desperately needed the support and encouragement of my family and God provided.

~Joel started having trouble during the day. I was worried every night that I was going to have to leave by myself in the middle of the night, which scared me about as much as the idea of him being in distress. Not to mention that everything feels a little less scary during the day.

~There is a really great children’s hospital close to us and he has gotten great care. Everyone has been extremely nice and helpful and comforting. The people at all of our hospital experiences over the last several months have been wonderful actually.

~Sam comes home today. He isn’t deployed far away and he will be around, besides duty days, for the next month.

~We have good insurance. Even though Tricare drives me insane and it took a whole crazy process to get things worked out with Joel’s insurance, we do have great coverage. I’m also thankful that this didn’t all happen a week sooner, when everything was a mess with Joel’s insurance. It took about a month to get everything all worked out and the day before this all started everything was finally worked out.

~Joel is such a happy, pleasant baby. Even through all this, he’s been smiling at the doctor’s and nurses and just been really happy overall. He’s definitely had his moments, but overall he has been amazingly happy.

I thought I was crazy in love and crazy protective before all this, but my bond and depth of love and desire to protect my son have grown even more over this week. It truly is a feeling you cannot even imagine until you’re a parent.
Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support!