An update

I have been wanting to sit down and write a blog post for two weeks now and it just hasn't happened. Joel is 2 weeks and 5 days old. He is absolutely precious and I already can't imagine my life without him in it. It definitely feels like he belongs in our family. I love waking up to his sweet little face every morning (and every few hours during the night).



He makes the most adorable little sounds and faces. I love just watching and listening to him.

(1st tummy time-he did great!)


These past two weeks have been hard though. There have been lots of tears shed and lots of discouraging moments. It seems like we have faced one challenge after another, mostly relating to breastfeeding. Every time I've thought we turned a corner and got ourselves over the hump, something new came up that made it hard. Also, as you all know, Sam left 5 days after Joel was born. I'm sure that this has had an impact on how things have gone. The night Sam left, Joel cried almost the entire night. I think he had a sense that something wasn't right and that his mommy was stressed and sad.

My mom came the day Sam left and stayed until today. She was amazing to have around. I really don't think the two of us would have survived without her. She took Joel in the middle of the night so I could sleep, she took him during the evening so I could shower, she did uncountable loads of laundry and dishes, cooked meals, shopped for me, brought me frappucino's and was just a great source of encouragement and moral support. I'm so thankful that she was able to be here. We are really going to miss her.

Last week we were finally in a place where I felt like breastfeeding was heading somewhere good and then I got really sick. I woke up on Wed. night feeling really cold and shivery, but I figured it was just hormones or whatever. I'd been taking Motrin pretty much constantly, so later that morning I felt a lot better. By noon on Thursday, I felt freezing and awful again, so I told my mom that maybe we should check my temperature. We did and it was 102.4. I called my OB office to check in about it and after checking with my doctor, they told me to go to the ER. This was a moment that I'm so thankful my mom was here for! We packed up all our stuff and headed over to the hospital (didn't expect to be going there again so soon..or ever!) Thankfully, when we got there, they let us go in a separate room while we waited. The ER is not exactly where you want to bring your 2 week old baby, so I'm glad we at least were away from other people. After a few hours, they told us they thought I had a kidney infection and they gave me a super high dose of antibiotics, so that I wouldn't have to be admitted. My temperature reached 103.1 between when we left my house and when they gave me Tylenol again at the hospital. I don't think I've ever been that sick before and I'd like to never be that sick again, especially now that I have someone else to take care of! I'm thankful that we live in a day where antibiotics are available and effective or I might have been toast! I'm thankful for my mom yet again as she took care of Joel and let me sleep for hours in a row over the next couple days.

We also made a discovery during this time. Joel loves formula. I thought he was a fussy baby. The days we gave him formula, he was transformed into a very calm, happy and content baby. This was a very discouraging realization, considering the hours and hours of energy, tears and effort that have gone into pressing on with breastfeeding. At this moment we are taking things one day at a time and doing some of both. I have to supplement right now anyway, while I build my milk supply back up after being sick, so for that reason, it's good that he's content!

I've learned a lot over these last couple weeks. I'm learning my baby's personality, I'm learning that there is a reason people do the things they do, I'm learning that sometimes what's best theoretically isn't best for us individually. I'm learning that I need to let go of some of my ideals about how things would go and do what works best for us.

My very favorite times have been in the mornings over the last few days. Joel has been super alert and attentive to me and it's so fun. We've read books and had tummy time and just looked at each other. My sweet cousin-in-law gave us a neat mirror and Joel loves to look in it. He also loves to look at the bee that's on the mirror. It's so cute to watch.


Parenthood has certainly been a crazy adventure so far and I can't say that I've loved every moment by far. I think we are heading over the hump now one way or another, at least I hope so. At some point I'm going to write a post with Joel's birth story and I may write one with more details about our breastfeeding saga as well. Thanks to everyone for your love, support and prayers! You all have been awesome!